zackisontumblr: if you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying hey wanna see what i made
skittyspostlimitblog: sometimes my twelve year old little sister will go on club penguin and trick a bunch of girls that she’s a guy and she’ll make them think they’re dating and then she’ll have them all meet her in the same place at the same time and watch them get into catfights about who’s boyfriend she is and thats how my little sister became a cross-dressing evil mastermind pimp on club...
dirkstr8der: the-winchester-initiative: cryonetics: snorlaxatives: *sexually strokes wall until finding light switch* What a turn on. Get out. why does everyone say get out when somebody makes a pun dont get out get in here and make more puns
Count Olaf: "You should have given up a long time ago, orphans. I triumphed the moment you lost your family."
Violet: "We didn't lose our family. Only our parents."
I had an auto-repair man once, who, on these intelligence tests, could not...– Isaac Asimov (via skinnybaras) this is glorious. reminds me to check my educated privilege. (via mesreves)
yuppadupp: thewholockgames: districteverthorne: what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too calm down satan Time...
windblowsthedandelion: ursorum: Doctor Who the hell cares Doctor What the heck do you think you’re doing ridiculing britain’s most loved television programme
My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.– L.M. Montgomery (via erraticintrovert)
martincrief: TOMORROW IS THE 23RD OF NOVEMBER ISN’T IT?
How fragile we are, between the few good moments.– Jane Hirshfield, “Vinegar and Oil” (via commovente)
Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the...– Robert H. Schuller (via fleurare)
caraknightley: mini m&ms taste better than normal m&ms don’t even try to argue with me on this
untroestlich: jesuschristvevo: a white girl walks into a bar and asks for a frappuccino what’s wrong with this? I always do this. Not at bars but at mccafe or starbucks. I don’t get the joke. Someone tell me? :3
lefayss: dude like dragons are mentioned in almost all cultures all across the world even before they had interaction with each other and you’re telling me they didn’t exist
connorkawaii: connorkawaii: the sims 4 logo looks like something i made on powerpoint with the gradient filter in primary school wow i swear to god i thought i’d have a go and actual logo: powerpoint: your secrets out EA
Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the...– (via 1112pm)
”where do you wanna go to dinner?” ”i don’t care” ”ok”